Knitting, a few cookies and TBBT

Sorry I haven't been on my blog for a while, but I guess I haven't really had anything to ramble on about. Also I've actually been hanging around with my friends in the holidays (which are ending this week BOO) so I've probably already said everything I've needed to. But you will see plenty of me when I'm back at school!

Right now, I've begun knitting my friend a scarf- and I think I'm getting kind of good! Here's a photo of how it' going to look:
(I just went upstairs to get my camera when it was actually downstairs...)

It's actually more of a darker pinkish red, but yeah! I'm proud of myself though yay!
(Oh gosh, I hope I don't turn into one of those knitting blogs...)

SOFT KITTY WARM KITTY <3

#5

My mother just told me that I was't a very nice child as a child.
Me, a bully? PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


So here's the quote, which I chose because I've been telling my friend this a lot. 

"Shoulda, coulda, woulda. It's so easy in the past tense. "

No point in regretting the past, because all that complaining isn't going to do anything apart from give you a headache. And nothing changes, unless you actually do something instead of thinking.


(Sorry, I just came back from the mall and I'm feeling exhausted. I'll edit this in a few hours.) 

That feeling...

....you get after your conversation with your math teacher and you realize that you have nothing your actually good at and you have no future and then you start playing a song on your piano expressing your anger and tear up.

I wish there was such job as eating chocolates while writing about your sad life. Because I would be very good at that.

Hot water bottles, knitting needles and a box of tissues.

Well I don't want to rant too much, but my favourite program is now Drop Dead Diva. 

Yes, it brought me to tears. I mean, it really taught me how it is like to lose someone, and not being able to have the one you love when they're literally right infront of you.

Basically, it's about this model called Deb who had a car accident. At the same timeish, there is this pushover lawyer called Jane who is super smart who gets shot. Deb ends up in this place where they decided for people to either go to heaven or hell depending on the bad/good deeds you've done. Fred, the guy doing the organizing tells her that she's done no good or bad deeds, and just shallow. Angered, Deb presses the return button returning her to Earth not in her body, but Jane's and now has to live the life of Jane's without anyone else knowing she's Deb apart from her bestfriend Stacey and Fred, her guardian angel. And that's pretty hard when she has to work as a lawyer with the guy she still loves Greyson, Deb's fiancée who is  working also as a lawyer.

AAAAAAHHH! First, Drop Dead Diva is funny, with just the right amount of awwwhness, comedy and drama. It's also sad, and my favourite episode is the one with the clown. It used to just be fun, but then I just started to cry. Although it doesn't have a lot of scenes with Greyson and Deb/Jane, it's so sad for both of them, especially Deb/Jane. I mean, how can you act normal when the guy you love works with you and you see him moving on, even if you know it's the right thing? And don't get me started on the cliffhanger of season 2. I mean, now I have to wait for season 3 until June?! Just insaaane. 

While I was watching this, I was also knitting. Yes, I know how to knit. Since yesturday, I've been knitting a cover for my hot water bottle because it smells like rubber. 

It's taking aaages, but whatever. It's fun, hahahahahaha. 

I'm feeling a little nausea-tic, I think it's because I haven't been out aaall day. Sigh.

#4

I am veryveryveryvery exhausted. And it's not like I even stayed up all night!

Yesturday was yes, my last day of  school * SQUEAL*
Sadly, not my last forever, just you know, until my 2 weeks end.

I was going to go to Duckiee's house to do some cooking yesturday but I couldn't be stuffed because it was too complicated. I sound like a nice friend right? Don't worry, me and her have this strange friendship where we say whatever we want.

Anyway, so instead of baking, I spent all yesterday watching some drama episodes, until like 12:30 not kidding. By then I was kinda tired, and then I looked beside to the tv and realised oh dear. Because what was on was this korean thiller drama and I hate scary stuff. Only this drama wasn't actually graphically haunting, it was just...freaky.Like you didn't know what was going to happen next.
(So after that around 1 I slowly got to my bed and read until 3 and was freaking out that I might get nightmares. Typically of me, I slept like a baby.)


Here's my FRIDAY NIGHT QUOTE that I forgot to send yesterday because I was too engaged in the scary drama.

'But if everything was always smooth and perfect, you'd get too used to that, you know? You have to have a little bit of disorganization now and then. Otherwise, you'll never really enjoy it when things go right.'

Imagine having perfect control over your life, no mess ups at all. Your shirts were always clean, your face never had milk around your mouth, and your hair always looked perfect. Sounds great, huh? But we don't have a magical fairy who does those kind of things for us. Just like Macy in The Truth about Forever, you'll focus on being perfect, and become narrow minded, and not actually enjoy how perfect your life is. That's why I kind of like having a messy bedroom. Sure, it can make you feel kinda messy but it's full of surprises, like one day you might find that missing sock, or another day you might find some money. And when you get your bedroom finally clean, you have that feeling of achievement. Until that is, you get your room messy again.

I want my room like this...

Caaaakepops.

I should be doing my homework, but instead I found the cutest food blog ever! Normally food blogs make me want to shut down my computer, but this one is just freaking awesome. It makes my mouth water and now I'm really hungry. I found out something that I want to make with my friend this friday for Easter!

They're called cakepops, and they're basically like cake crumbs smashed together with frosting and then dipped with chocolate or whatever and stuck on a stick I think. Aren't they cute?

Obviously ours won't be as super caaaawte as these, but I'm hoping they'll at least be recognizable! We're thinking of maybe easter egg and bunny shaped ones to give to our church and maybe some other ones just for us. I'll upload photos if they end up okay!

Now I really should study for my English test, only I can't really be bothered. But after tomorrow is the last day of school so yippieee!

Freedoom.
(Doom? I meant freedom...)

Dodgeball is fuuuun.

My eye is getting better. The mum finally arrived around 3, and then we went to the doctors. Basically it's a type of a sty, or whatever. But it's gotten way better!

Today was mufti day, which was pretty cool. In the morning I was doing that whole panicking thing where your like, 'IS IT MUFTI OR NOT?!'
(Luckily, it was.)

School's been pretty good, like not bad but not looking forward, simply just because I'm lazy. I have to go to school blind now because I can't wear my contacts, but I bring my glasses just in case.

At the end of school, we had P.E which was really annoying at the beginning because we had to change our nice clothes into yucky P.E clothes. But then we played Dodgeball which got us pretty hyped up, and even though I couldn't see well I still hit some people.

And then we played the coolest game ever.
It's called Cone something, and it's when you have a cone in the middle of the gym and a lot of dodgeballs. There's four groups, and each group stands outside this square (the cone is inside the square) on each edge. The aim is to hit the cone and try and get it to someone else's line. It sounds simple, but it is puuuuuuureee genius.

I've got to go now, I have to do my homework. (Also my mum is yelling at me because I haven't start on my homework. Also because I left on the straighter on the whole day.)

#3

Right now, I'm actually suppose to be at school.
But strangely, my mother is not home right now to pick me up to my doctor's appointment.
WHY IS SHE NOT HERE?!

So I'm just quietly panicking and just blogging as usual. So why do I have to go to the doctors?
It happened last thursday. I was out with my friends and my right eye was starting to get irritated and itchy. I told my friends, who pretended to not hear me and dragged me somewhere else. By the time I came home my eyes were okay, but still itchy.

THEN.

For the next few days, my right eye got a little swollen. I thought, oh it'll go away.
But is hasn't and it has gotten HUGE I TELL YOU. Everyone was like "What happened? Did you get beat up?"
I would post a photo of it, but that might be a little... gross. But I can tell you that it is like a small rock is inside my eyelid, that it's bumpy, red and BULGY!

Okay, my rant is over. And while I'm waiting, I might as well just do my quote. Yeees, it is QUOTE NIGHT (actually evening) yay! I was going to do it while I was doing my homework, but I have a LOT of english homework so maybe not?

"Because this is what happens when you try to run from the past. It just doesn’t catch up, it overtakes … blotting out the future."

Okay, now what I'm about to say doesn't sound that important or relevant to this quote, but it's been bothering me A LOT. So. I have this 'friend', who I might've rant on about few times. Actually, she's not even a friend, she's a... acquaintance. A memory, a past. Someone who I used to share my laughs and thoughts with. 
The person I'm talking about is a girl I used to be friends with in primary school. We were in the same class in year 6, and my strange buddy. She was smiley, reminded me of  bunny and I went to the disco with her. 
After primary, I went to a different school than all my other friends, including her. I still talked to her, emailing and stuff, and slowly we rarely talked. We were still friendly, just not close. 
In high school, I found out that she was going to the same school as me. I can't remember actually what I felt like, but I think I was happy. 
School started, and we said hi to each other, and talked a little. But slowly we realized that we were living totally different lives if you get what I mean. For example, she wore eyeliner, dyed her hair, and hung out with the girls who swore loudly, wore stretchers and got drunk in the weekends. My friends are more well, homey and although they're not nerds, they don't bunk and swear a teachers. It was just jam and nutella- they're both good, but sick together.
We still said hi as we past each other, but something was different. We were both in the same art class last year, and we sat in opposite directions. Sometimes we said hi, sometimes we ignored each other. It was just all weird. 
It got even weirder this year. I swapped art to graphics, and I was in the same class as her again! I remember thinking, 'what the frick....?' And now we ignore yet still say hi to each other. It's as if theres an invisible wall between each other. I don't know what she thinks, but I find it kinda awkward. 
Actually, that's something I would like to know. What does she think of me? I know it doesn't really matter, but it would be interesting. Does she think I'm funny, smiley? Or does she think I'm depressed and lonely? Do I look like a freak or just normal? And now I wonder, does she think of what I think of her?
In Health, we were talking at relationships, not just dating ones but family and friendships. We were talking about what ends a relationship and the teacher was talking about lack of communication, misunderstandings or just simply growing apart and thats when I thought of her. It's not like we had a fight, jealous of each other, it's just that we've drifted away, because we're not part of each others future. She's my past, and I'm her past and whether we want to forget or not we will remember each other because we were a part of each other's past.
And right now what's happening to me is that I can't seem to just take in my past, and get over it. I have too many grudges, queries and thoughts. Like, 'what happened that made us like this?' and 'why can't I just pretend she's a stranger?'. It's the same with Voldemort. She's my friend, but I can't just forgive her for all the damage she did to me, whether she meant it or not. It's always going to be there, whether I want it to be or not. I just don't know. 
But I do know what this quote means; if you don't just accept facts and get over your past, you will never be able to get away from it. It will always be there at the back of your mind, taunting you until you can't think of anything else. 
So learn to get along with your past, because whether you accept the facts or not, she's still not your friend anymore.

Word of the day

Recently, I've been liking to go onto dictionary websites and find out strange words. I've been trying to work on my narrow vocab, and so I subscribed this thing that emails me a word per day.

Yesterday's word was 'dapple', a spotted or mottled marking.
Today's word is:

Carnorous: Richly melodious; pleasant sounding; musical.


I can already tell I'm going to forget this...

#2

So on Friday, silly me I forgot about QUOTE NIGHT! My sucky excuse is that I was going over to my friends house, but I bought my laptop with me! *slaps head* I suck at commitment oh dear.

Well even though I'm sleepy and have a lot of homework, here's a short quote for the night, and I promise to have a kick-ass one on friday instead I PROMISE.

"Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend."

This is one of my favourite quotes. Why? It is so damn true. Everyone goes through crap in their lifes, obstacles that make you want to snuggle into your covers forever. But those friends of yours will drag you out, kick some sense into you and slowly with their help you heal. And I am proud to say that I have two best friends who are there for me.

This post is actually dedicated to my closest friend, Duckiee. I guess she is my best friend, but I like to call her my sister, my other half. We meet when we were 1, and no it's not one of those stories where we were friends forever. Around year 5, we stopped becoming friends where I remembered she told me that she wanted to stop being friends. As I was little, I didn't really care. Actually, I think we both forgot about it haha. Then in year 7 I brought her to my church and it was awkward at the time, and we actually bonded through having hair competitions... You know them? It's when you yank one of your hairs out and see whos hair is the thickest. Anyway, we had a lot of fights with my other church friends (now that I think about it, Duckiee and me have never actually fought). The reason why I love Duckiee is that she doesn't care what I say, and I am be totally comfortable around her. I can yell at her, kick her, laugh with her, roll my eyes at her and she can do the same but we both won't mind. We have a little tiff, but then the next second we'll be making toasties. It's kind of as if we balance each other out. I take away her drama queeness with my seriousness, she makes me understand more of other people, and we both balance out each other's weirdness. We're both really different though, she's a year older for example, hypo, skinny, active, whereas I'm chubbier, quieter (no thats a lie, I actually don't know who's louder, it depends), more independent (I like to be alone sometimes), sarcastic. However we both support each other. I don't know how sick she must be of me ranting about a certain school friend, who I am actually really enjoying school with. I was in a kind of as not depressed but sad mood as you could be last year and she helped me. I'm helping her with her love life, the Jinny boy and I don't know how many times she has spazzed about him. But I have to admit- 'my life would suck without you.'

Now, on the other hand there is my official best friend, Jessie. Jessie and me have been bst friends since primary. We have the weirdest crazes ever, like pokemon, cartoons and now Harry Potter (ee! We're choosing what to wear when the movie comes out). We are such a good match, jokey, doodly, etc. I've always felt that we're more of a like, less serious intense best friends because I don't really talk to her about my problems. We go to different schools which is hard, but we ring a lot and we Facebook heaps. Yesturday we rang and she ended up crying, because this girl who she followed bitched about her on Tumblr, and I mean seriously, keep that shit to yourself! And although I usually find situations like this awkward, I didn't find it too much, and I felt really happy because I was one of te two people she told about this. Jessie although she might not know it, has also been a lot of help in the past. Last year, I kind of thought I was a freak (okay I am weird) because-well actually I still don't really know, it's hard to explain. Anyway, whenever I talked to her and Duckiee, I felt as if I had two great friends who looked over a weirdness, and saw someone who was real, that could be hurt sometimes. You know?

And that is why I love Duckiee and Jessie so much.
I seriously don't know who I would be without them.