#3

Right now, I'm actually suppose to be at school.
But strangely, my mother is not home right now to pick me up to my doctor's appointment.
WHY IS SHE NOT HERE?!

So I'm just quietly panicking and just blogging as usual. So why do I have to go to the doctors?
It happened last thursday. I was out with my friends and my right eye was starting to get irritated and itchy. I told my friends, who pretended to not hear me and dragged me somewhere else. By the time I came home my eyes were okay, but still itchy.

THEN.

For the next few days, my right eye got a little swollen. I thought, oh it'll go away.
But is hasn't and it has gotten HUGE I TELL YOU. Everyone was like "What happened? Did you get beat up?"
I would post a photo of it, but that might be a little... gross. But I can tell you that it is like a small rock is inside my eyelid, that it's bumpy, red and BULGY!

Okay, my rant is over. And while I'm waiting, I might as well just do my quote. Yeees, it is QUOTE NIGHT (actually evening) yay! I was going to do it while I was doing my homework, but I have a LOT of english homework so maybe not?

"Because this is what happens when you try to run from the past. It just doesn’t catch up, it overtakes … blotting out the future."

Okay, now what I'm about to say doesn't sound that important or relevant to this quote, but it's been bothering me A LOT. So. I have this 'friend', who I might've rant on about few times. Actually, she's not even a friend, she's a... acquaintance. A memory, a past. Someone who I used to share my laughs and thoughts with. 
The person I'm talking about is a girl I used to be friends with in primary school. We were in the same class in year 6, and my strange buddy. She was smiley, reminded me of  bunny and I went to the disco with her. 
After primary, I went to a different school than all my other friends, including her. I still talked to her, emailing and stuff, and slowly we rarely talked. We were still friendly, just not close. 
In high school, I found out that she was going to the same school as me. I can't remember actually what I felt like, but I think I was happy. 
School started, and we said hi to each other, and talked a little. But slowly we realized that we were living totally different lives if you get what I mean. For example, she wore eyeliner, dyed her hair, and hung out with the girls who swore loudly, wore stretchers and got drunk in the weekends. My friends are more well, homey and although they're not nerds, they don't bunk and swear a teachers. It was just jam and nutella- they're both good, but sick together.
We still said hi as we past each other, but something was different. We were both in the same art class last year, and we sat in opposite directions. Sometimes we said hi, sometimes we ignored each other. It was just all weird. 
It got even weirder this year. I swapped art to graphics, and I was in the same class as her again! I remember thinking, 'what the frick....?' And now we ignore yet still say hi to each other. It's as if theres an invisible wall between each other. I don't know what she thinks, but I find it kinda awkward. 
Actually, that's something I would like to know. What does she think of me? I know it doesn't really matter, but it would be interesting. Does she think I'm funny, smiley? Or does she think I'm depressed and lonely? Do I look like a freak or just normal? And now I wonder, does she think of what I think of her?
In Health, we were talking at relationships, not just dating ones but family and friendships. We were talking about what ends a relationship and the teacher was talking about lack of communication, misunderstandings or just simply growing apart and thats when I thought of her. It's not like we had a fight, jealous of each other, it's just that we've drifted away, because we're not part of each others future. She's my past, and I'm her past and whether we want to forget or not we will remember each other because we were a part of each other's past.
And right now what's happening to me is that I can't seem to just take in my past, and get over it. I have too many grudges, queries and thoughts. Like, 'what happened that made us like this?' and 'why can't I just pretend she's a stranger?'. It's the same with Voldemort. She's my friend, but I can't just forgive her for all the damage she did to me, whether she meant it or not. It's always going to be there, whether I want it to be or not. I just don't know. 
But I do know what this quote means; if you don't just accept facts and get over your past, you will never be able to get away from it. It will always be there at the back of your mind, taunting you until you can't think of anything else. 
So learn to get along with your past, because whether you accept the facts or not, she's still not your friend anymore.