Just Listen

Today was a mixture of happy and okayish day.
It was a happy day because I had loads of fun and I got Excellence in translation and grammar and merit in comprehension. I wish I had gotten straight Excellences, but I cant regret something thats already done. Then I got a level 5 Proficient which was really good for me because on that day I was having a horrible day. So I was pretty pleased until at lunch people threw leaves and bread at me. Not the greatest thing but you have to get over it.

You know how I was going to do another book review thing? (Placeholder-you'll see why I'm saying this if you've read the book I've just finished reading.) Well today I read Just Listen, who was my inspiration for my blog 'Dont Judge Just Listen' only the character Annabel's quote was:

"Dont think or judge, just listen."

Basically this is about a main character Annabel Greene who has everything, or at least looks like she does. Unable to confine anything to anyone, alone and torn from what happened that night, Annabel only comfort is to tell white lies to the people she love incase they get hurt. Then she meets Owen Armstrong (eeeee! ><), a intense, tall music obsessed guy who likes to tell the truth (Anger Management, R and R) no matter what. I cant tell you what happens because it'll ruin the book but I LOVE this book, it is one of (okay is) my favourite Sarah Dessen books. This book to me isnt an ordinary just cliche book. It's written carefully, meaningfully and always leaves me thinking which sometimes gets me annoyed because I feel so empty inside. If I could live in a book, it would be this one. It has love in it, but it isnt just oridnary love. It has sister love, friendship love and music love. Annabel and Owen share a relationship which I would so want if I had an boyfriend-no wait he is my dream guy. They can connect to each other ("story of my life"), and they are just so... cute together? It's just their ability to relate to each other, and to listen. I really envy that and that's 50% why I like to read this book. It's a time where I can just slip away into someone elses life and feel like I can relate to someone else strongly as that.

That is why I hate and love Sarah Dessen books. They make you so satisfied yet unsatisfied, longing yet unlonging. No matter how screwed up each person's life is, they always have someone close to them. Apart from Dreamland and That Summer.

I
just
cant
help
envy
them.

Thats why I would love to live in a book, or be in a coma. I would love to just for one moment, be able to do not literally nothing, but to able to not care, not have to think so much and smile everytime when I dont want to. It gets tiring. And I know compared to so many other people out there in the world, the starving children out in Asia, the people who have gotten raped, harrassed in any mental or physical way, the people so poor that they have to stay on the streets freezing to death and the unfortunate people who have a disease whether its lung cancer or yellow fever, I am one of the fortunate ones, someone who is plump (too plump) with food, has enough money to live, a family, and a future ahead of me yet it doesnt feel that way. Dont get me wrong, I appreciate my live so much and am so grateful of it, but sometimes I just feel... unsatisfied with my life?
Maybe I'm not doing something right in my life, maybe it's a sign saying that I should help one of the unfortunate to feel satisfied in my life? Once I saw this religious channel where this women, who wasnt the most perfect women living was smiling because she was helping people to have education and a future. She was short, brown curly hair, chubby and yet she was smiling more realistically than I had in a while. So even though I'll still not do anything about this, and go on Facebook or something, I really hope one day I'll go through my blog, get this post, re-read it and think of a reason why I was brought on this Earth.

Because it certainly wasnt so I could moan all day.