Idontreallycare

In the past few days, I've been procrasinating about the fact that soon I have to blog about my arrival in Korea, what happened etc. I so wasnt feeling the mood to do some recount writing. But a few minutes ago, I realised something. 'Wait, this is MY blog. I write whatever I want, I make up the rules. Heck, who's telling me that I have to write about Korea?' And so here I am, typing up whatever shit I feel like right now.

For example, I really should change the title of this post. Because when people say that they dont really care, its all lies. A form of hard amour over our sensitive selves to protect us from blunt and harsh words. For example, when people call me fat, I'll laugh over my surprise and pretend I dont care. This is what I envy about poeple who have to tell the truth, or arent afraid of saying whats on their mind. Of course, this can often lead to offended arguments, but it is no worse not being able to say what is on your mind. If I could say realy what was on my mind it would be this:

Why are the bitches always the popular ones? Whoever said that looks werent everything is surely being ignored by the world. Sometimes I like to say at home, watch some telly and look like a mess. You're a bitch and I dont know why we're friends when clearly you dont care how I feel. Do I really look that stupid, as If I really dont know anything? Cant you tell how I/he/she feels about you? I dont see why you guys are arguing over something as stupid as this. You can be real annoying sometimes. Cant I do what I want for once? Do you like the fake me better than the real me thats more crazy, but still real? How can people not tell that I'm really mean and selfish? I want people to miss me when I'm gone. I lie for my own good and sometimes lie for others sadness. I may hate those bitches out there, but inside I'm also as evil and hateful as them. I've thought about yelling at you more than once. I've wanted to run into a car before, not because I've wanted to die, because I've wanted to see how people would react and think of me. Sometimes I get so angry that I boil inside but I've never been able to speak all of it. Everyday, even though I might be getting prettier on the outside, I'm getting uglier in the inside. I really want a sandwich, but I wont ask for one incase it's rude. How dare you say that to me you hypocrite! I know what your really thinking, than you really dont want do this. Why does it seem like that no one really cares how I feel? Sometimes I feel like that I really deserve all this. You say that I'm bland and always look bored but you might want to think twice if you saw what was going inside my head. Does it mean that If I'm weird, annoying, unthoughtful to you, others will think the same? Why am I doing this? I know that I have a purpose to life, I'm just trying to find it. Man, those people who act all fake piss me off! I judge people, I dont like the fact that I do but it's true- the only thing that matters is if your going to give them a chance or not. I wish that she would stop pretending that I wasnt here. Why do I act so wimpy all the time? Is it a crime not to like the same things as you guys?

Ugly ugly ugly.


Looks can be deceiving.